Everyone has them. Core issues. These are the issues that are often difficult to identify but that hold people back in life and prevent them from realizing their true potential. If you had a trauma at a younger age and you feel that it is still affecting your behavior today, we can get at and release the energy trapped there in time. Talking about traumas whether a sudden incident or a long pattern of subtle abuse/neglect and letting out the feelings that you couldn't express at the time allows you to integrate and understand that time of your life. Sometimes this happens within one session, sometimes it takes longer to reach the feelings. Wanting freedom from patterns in your life that hurt you is great motivation. With counseling, courage and surrender to a benevolent force for good you can move forward with a new story.
Through many experiences in my life I have developed a very strong belief that a loving presence is always with us and works through us. I was reminded of this presence in a prison cell in Henderson, Nevada.
Prior to this situation, I had been in recovery without a drink of alcohol for nine months. Then I broke down and found myself in a bar. I managed to throw down six rum and cokes. I got in my car to go to my hotel and found myself driving down the wrong side of the road. I was immediately swarmed by policemen. They slammed me onto the hood, handcuffed me and took me to jail on a DUI charge.
I was very upset, so they put me in an isolation cell and took all my clothes. The cell was dismal and cold. As the days passed, I became increasingly depressed. I had been sober so long, and now I was in this nightmare situation. I stopped eating. I could feel my will to live leaving me. I kept pressing the emergency button, desperate for help. A guard yelled, “Mr. Casey, if you press that button one more time, you are never getting out”. That was the last nail in the coffin. “How can people be so uncaring?” my heart screamed, “here I am withering away and no one even cares.” I no longer wanted to be in this world.
The next morning made the fourth day that my breakfast came and once again I did not eat. I pulled myself up for a moment, said three words “God help me” and fell backwards onto the cold, hard bed. What seemed like 30 seconds later I heard my cell door open. An officer that I had never seen before was standing there with the kindest presence. I noticed his name-tag; it read “Officer Wright”.
Officer Wright gave me some clothes and told me to take a shower (something the other officers had not let me do). He said that they would have a doctor check on me and that they would put me into general population where I would be released from my cell three times a day. His words made my will to live flood through my body. When lunch came I devoured everything on my plate. During my last four days in jail, I made a great connection with my cellmate, exercised, and continued to be held by that same Loving Presence when the unbearable anxiety of being behind bars threatened to collapse my will once again.
The choice of sobriety has to come from a place so deep inside you, that it is beyond your need or want. It is something you just embrace and surrender to. It is a complete willingness to face and let go of the hurt you are experiencing, to know with all your heart, no matter how scary it may seem, that this is the path you must take.
I recently loss my father, who was ninety-one, and a World War 2 Veteran. I am beyond grateful that I was clean and sober, and played a major role in helping him cross over. I had very strong core issues with my father, and we had some incredibly painful confrontations, back when I was drinking. The last fifteen years of my father’s life, I was sober, and I got to see who he truly was. He also got to see me. Amazing healing transpired through those years and my love and respect for him is beyond words. When he died, I was at peace, because nothing was left unsaid. The grief is still like a roller coaster, and when it hits, I don’t fight it, I have to have the feelings of missing him, and wanting him to be proud of me.